anadiomene

6 May , 2006

So why do we have that urge as humans to move… to believe that there must be better more luscious pastures elsewhere. Is it due to some build up of our psyche which is never satisfied with what we have, or is it a sub-conscious nomadic past that we have not quite been able to forget? As nomads we followed the sun or our food sources…. Today there are many people who long to or do the same. Of course there are those who talk about it and never manage to take that first big step. There are those that take the step, like their new pasture and stay. Or those like myself; forever restless, always moving – sometimes back to old countries – and sometimes more often, onto new ones. No, not always successfully, but not doing to badly either.

And although while others of my species aspire and attempt to take that first step of moving – I long for another step; that of actually staying – maybe even forever?? Somewhere to call home, where I could stay evermore, which still to a nomad like myself, sounds like a very long time!

But if you have ever moved country, you might just understand. It’s not quite as dreamy and adventurous as it first sounds. While your imagination runs wild on the possibilities, the actual reality is what jolts you back down to earth. And while I have only trans-located to over 12 cities in 8 different countries there comes a definite point where you just want a real home. Learning yet another language becomes harder every time as the more languages you know the more jumbled your (well my) brain becomes. Adapting to a new culture and way or live – this I found to be the most difficult in places where you least expect it, for me both the place I grew up as well as the country I was born. And while I have been incredibly lucky, meeting new friends, the older you get and the less you go out, this also becomes harder and harder.

Although do not for a minute get me wrong, while I have loved every challenge and country for different reasons, and they all led to me being who I am and what I am about today – there just comes a point, where I would like to wake up in the morning, knowing I belong, and that I am home. I can travel, use it as a base, however when that plane comes in to I know that I am home.

Hence following a period of complete mediocrity in my life, with the steady job, nice house, good friends in a well organised but unchallenging country – I decided to throw a spanner in the works. So, after full analysis of my situation; of my wants, needs, and desires for the future, as well as incredibly long lists of possible places and opportunities. I narrowed it down to 2 places, one where I could earn a lot of money and the other where I could, and would really be able to call home. I went for Italy as I could see it being my home and due to the fact I that I wanted to retire there anyway, I figured now was a good as time as any to see if I could learn the language and make any of those dreams a reality. This is all based on logic, on the somewhat more un-logical side, I also had a dream about this magical place I would call home. When I looked it up in the following morning, it not only existed but it also sounded enchanting and very much a reflection of the elements I had dreamed about. So a few weeks later I headed off to see if the actuality resembled my dream or my logic. And I wasn’t at all disappointed, so within the space of 2 weeks, I’d rented my house, stored my things, found a place to rent in Sicily and was on the plane and out of a life of mediocrity and into a whole new adventure. The start of my journey had begun…….

And is the grass here greener? No it’s just different like anywhere else. 11 months later I am still here – living my adventure and my dreams. There are days it is better and days it is not, here the grass grows in the sun, near the sea and a different pace to life. There is no pressure, the unconditional love one receives from family and friends – the nourishment it gets from the un-processed home made food builds a different kind of strength. The things that are important in life vary and people live from moment to moment, here in the now, not in yesterday or tomorrow. This brings one closer to the moment more absorbed by what is happening –one grows, and basks in life and moves on as you would anywhere. It’s not greener, but it is my grass…. And I feel finally I am in my garden and it’s just as green as I would have wanted it, and I won’t be going home as I am here already….. Now all I need to do is to keep sowing the seeds and watching them grow.